Relationships

Ladies, Get Off Your High Heels

It’s 2017, yet there are so many old fashioned notions about dating that existed when my grandfather was courting my grandfather —  in the ‘50s.

Don’t be the one who pursues a guy, that looks desperate. Let him pursue you.

You shouldn’t kiss one a first date.

The guy should be the one paying.

Actually, I can sit here all day and name all of them out there. However, for time’s sake, I’ll leave it at those.

Dating has shifted in so many ways. What we call a relationship has shifted in so many ways as well — we have friends with benefits, bae, partner, and everything in between. Nowadays, Netflix and chill sessions are considered to be a date. Sad, but true. Even the way people are meeting has changed too — we’re using apps like Tinder and OkCupid in the attempts to find a mate.

While all of this change, I think the way that women should approach dating should. I think we should move towards more equality towards the sexes. I think that women should be able to make the first moves, if they want to. I think that they should text first, if they want to. I think they should ask the guy that they like out, not because they are desperate, but because they want to get to know that person.

I’m not going to lie — I think it’s nice when a guy wants to take the wheel and ask the girl out. It takes balls to do so. It’s nice to have a guy that tells you that he wants to go out with you, and wants to spend time with you.

I think though, by the guy doing all of the work, it can get frustrating on their part. That is similar to making the guy always pay. Sure, it’s a nice gesture especially in the beginning, but if you’ve been dating a while it gets expensive on their part. After all, boyfriends aren’t ATM machines. So, every once in awhile, I think women should further treat their fellas out for a nice dinner.

With that being said, aren’t relationships supposed to be mutual? If the guy and the girl both like each other, does it really matter who messaged who first, who pays or who asked the other to hang out? Because ladies, let’s face it — if we waited for men to read our minds, then we will be waiting an awfully long time. By having that equality helps each of you learn to love and respect the other for more than material goods and stupid protocol.

So, if Hillary won the popular vote, then you could surely take the plunge and ask that guy you’ve been flirting with for his number. It will have one of two outcomes — be a complete and total disaster or you’ll have his phone number.

Uncategorized

A Letter to the Guy Who Wrote the Total Frat Move Listicle

To the author of the Total Frat Move Article,

I appreciate reading your list of what makes the perfect college girlfriend. I am so sorry, but my love handles and I would rather lick the railing of a subway in New York City then put my mouth within a five-mile radius of your genitals.

Your misogynist rhetoric and perception of women astound me. I wonder if you, Mr. narcissistic Greek Letter wearing, natty ice drinking, Trump supporting ass even had a relationship in your lifetime. And, even if you did, I would like to send that poor girl a sympathy card, because she must be scarred for life. Either that, or she’s really smart to dump your sorry ass before it’s too late. I also wonder what makes you think that you could actually land a girl, but that’s not the main point here.

Based on the article you wrote, I can tell that your ideal girlfriend will be expected to bow down to you, fan you when you are hot, and feed you grapes. She would give you endless blowjobs, and look like the perfect ten (both with clothing and without) for you at all times so you can always be turned on. This girl will put up with your stupid and drunken frat boy antics, and let you run the show. She will shut up and not talk to you about anything meaningful, because God forbid if she ever disturbed your drunken existence with a thought that isn’t about how to do you better. And, she will be hairless, and pass the expectations that you set for her appearance.

Basically, you want to be treated like a king, and your partner is going to be the peasant.

But, what really bothers me is the amount of double standards you mention throughout the article. You are allowed to have sex with all of the partners that you want, however, you expect that a woman should not. The only time that she should do anything slutty would be in your presence. You expect that a woman should always be a size zero, but you will drink so much beer that you will have a beer gut. And, you say ‘you’re not my mother,’ yet you then go on to ask that she takes care of you whenever your dumb ass has too much to drink.

I don’t think you want a girlfriend. I think you want a Barbie doll, someone without any original thought, and whose only focus is to maintain a perfect body and appearance – in addition, to pleasing you sexually.

Reading your list honestly scares me. It frightens me that there are guys out there with that exact mindset. If every guy out there was like you, I could only predict mayhem for this country. And, the sense of entitlement – that you deserve to get whatever you want and whoever you want – scares me the most. When a woman says no, it wouldn’t mean stop – it would mean yield and keep going. Women deserve to be treated with respect, and I would like to know where you got the notions that they should be treated otherwise. Here’s some advice for you, bro — treat your girlfriend like you would treat your mother. Because, chances are you wouldn’t talk or expect others to treat your mother like that.

To be honest, you sound like a creep, jerk, and a pervert. So, please take your oversized pick up truck (which I’m sure is to compensate your lack of something else . . . you know what I mean), and go learn a thing or two about how to treat a woman. Chances are, until you do, you’ll end up drunk and alone every weekend and live a life without meaning. And, if that appeals to you, then good luck with that.

Relationships

Too Much?

When it comes to dating, I am the type of woman that knows what she wants. I also am the type of women that does not take any crap from anyone — whether it may be a friend who is upsetting or annoying me, a guy that won’t leave me alone, or a guy that uses cheesy pick up lines in the hopes that will make me weak in the knees.

Lately, I’ve been on a bit of an online dating kick. When I talk to guys, I don’t put on a facade or pretend that I am someone I’m not. Instead, I am sarcastic and witty. I also am not afraid to go after whatever it is I want, and sure as will send the first message. Why? Because rules are stupid, and if I want to talk to someone, I will. And, if someone is trying to use some cheesy line on me, that sure as hell ain’t gonna happen either.

For some guys, it can be a bit of a turn off. That is a complete and total mystery if you ask me. I can not tell you how many times a guy has unmatched me because I saw right through the cheesy pick up line, made a clear attempt to get to know him or because I clearly stated what I want.

Well, I am so sorry for not falling for that cheesy line you’ve used for every girl on the app that you match with. I am so sorry for knowing what I want, and for not being afraid to ask for it. I am sorry for not falling all over you, and losing my dignity because I want to date you. 

As a woman in the dating world — or looking for love — I am tired of feeling as if I have to be submissive to someone else. Yes, I can be too much. Sometimes, it can be too much to handle. However, if a guy is turned off by a strong, smart mouthed woman, who knows what she wants, then he is not the guy I want to date.

Plain and simple.

Relationships

6 Things Every Guy Dating a Career Oriented Girl Should Know

For as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to be a journalist and a writer. To reach that goal, I held roles at publications, nonprofits, and websites. Add in classes, a job to pay the bills, and it’s safe to say that I was a pretty busy lady.

17155264_379671155750661_3727122754487727981_n
via Pinterest

Because of that, maintaining a social life and a relationship can be a bit exhausting, and was a priority that often fell to the bottom of the list. Before I continue, I would like to say that in some of my relationships, I received endless support in what I wanted to do with my career. Other times, usually in guys I met online or have dated once or twice, they would simply complain I never made enough time to hang out with them or didn’t answer their text timely enough.

Uhm, excuse me?

Therefore, I decided to write this list as a reminder of guys who will either date me, or another career oriented girl.

  1. Sometimes, I am just too tired for date night. Friday nights are usually date nights. However, after a long week at the office, the only thing that I want to do is go home and watch 90’s sitcoms on Netflix. It’s not because I don’t want to hang out, it’s just I’m exhausted. Therefore, please don’t take offense when I say that I am too exhausted to go out on the town with you.
  2. I won’t respond to messages right away. Whether it’s because I have a day full of meetings, trying to get things done, or just engrossed in my work, I’m not paying attention to my phone 24/7. I get it that it can be frustrating when you’re trying to make plans with me and I’m not answering. However, please understand that I’m not ignoring you – I just have to get my work done. And, I will answer. Eventually. Just be patient.
  3. I might have to work late – causing me to have to cancel plans last minute. Sometimes, I’m on deadline so I’ll need to stay at the office much later to get things done. As a result, I may have to cancel or reschedule or movie date. Try to understand that I don’t want to cancel, but I genuinely need to be at work.
  4. You’ll be asked to read some of my stories – and give your honest opinion. This one applies to my fellow journalists out there. Whenever I write a piece for my blog, or an article, chances are I’m going to ask you to read it. Just do it, and tell me what you think.
  5. Sometimes, I’m going to need pep talks. Work has good days and bad ones. On the bad ones, be that extra shoulder of support and be encouraging. It will go a long way.
  6. I’m extremely passionate about my career and will talk about it to anyone who will listen. While the work sometimes is stressful, I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. Therefore, my passion for writing is greater than anything else I have in my life. On dates it’s something that I talk about constantly – and that’s okay. Just listen attentively, and eventually, I’ll shut up.
Relationships

Why We Need To Change The Double Standards of Dating

Dating has come a long way since the days of courtship. Now, couples are meeting online, or on apps such as Tinder or Ok Cupid. Women pay their own way when it comes to meals. However, despite the progress that we have made as a society, I would like to talk about the double standards in the dating world today that still exist, as there are several.

One of the things I hate most about being a woman is the lack of inequality compared to men. This happens in many ways, shapes or forms.

The first is the perception that women are the objects that need to be chased, versus the ones that do the chasing. And, in some ways, I agree. I think that a guy should pursue the woman at the beginning and feel like he has to impress her. However, I do not think that a guy should be the only one who bears the responsibility to do the asking out. Let’s face it, guys are shy, and asking a woman out is a lot of pressure. With that being said, women should shoulder some of the responsibility of asking a guy out, if they like a guy. It’s not desperate. It’s asking for what you want and taking control of the situation, instead of waiting for something to pop out of the sky.

Secondly, we need to change the standards that we bear towards women when it comes to dating. If a guy has multiple partners or dates, it’s considered to be fine. If a woman goes out on dates with multiple guys, that means she’s a slut or a whore. And, that’s pretty dumb. If exclusivity has not been discussed, than both parties have the right to go out and date whoever they want to no matter what their gender is. If exclusivity has been discussed and the person still goes out on a date with someone else, than yeah that’s bad. Women have the right to date around just as much as men do, if they are free to do so. There’s nothing wrong with trying other people on, because when you’re young and unattached, it’s okay to experience many different things.

Finally, I would also like to address how women are sometimes perceived to men-sexual pieces of meats, never their equal that they respect. I’ve seen and experienced some men who demand things from their girlfriends or ask them to change who they are/something about their appearance. I’ve seen others treat their girlfriends like crap by demanding they stay home and tend to them, while the guy is out cheating on her with some other broad. However, what happens if a woman asks her boyfriend for something, or even reacting to the way that he’s treating her? Yup, you’ve got it-a slut, a crazy bitch, etc. And, that’s really unfair. While it’s okay to talk to a woman about how you’re feeling, it’s not okay for you to demand it. In 2016, women are no longer dependent on men, so she really doesn’t need you. So, treat her with respect, or at least don’t make her sit around at home while out with the boys. Furthermore, you also can not tell someone how they should dress/act/look, etc. In a relationship, it is not the job of the woman to just take care of the guy and morph to whoever he wants her to be. If a guy wants a woman to be a certain something, then he should just buy a Barbie doll.

Now that I’m done with my feminist rant, I want you all to think about your relationships, past and present. It’s 2016. We’re done with the days of women aspiring to be housewives, as there’s even a woman becoming president. I think it’s time we treat women with the same respect as men do, to allow them to date around without worrying about slut shaming, and to let them taking the damn wheel without worrying about being perceived as desperate.

All’s fair in love and war, but let’s make it even more fair.