Learning to Be Nice To Yourself

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you just can’t get anything right? You know, when you’re struggling just to get something down pat, only to fail. And father than allow yourself the mistake, you beat yourself up for it?

You’re not alone, here. I do it too.

With that being said, how to we nip that habit right in the bud? How do we, instead of getting frustrated with ourselves so easily, learn to take a deep breath and say, it’s okay. I can do this. 

I say, with practice. Naturally, it’s easier said that done. But, I bet you can do it.

Okay, so how?

Let’s take when you’re new at something, for example. Often, you don’t pick something up right away. Do you remember when you first learned how to drive? Chances are, you didn’t do perfectly the first second you got behind the wheel. However, over time, you’ve managed to not only brake easily, but also feel comfortable driving around other cars. Therefore, we have to learn that since we’re new at something, we need to give ourselves a chance to get used to everything — whether it may be a new job or even a semester.

Patience, people.

Furthermore, we also need to work on learning to be nice to ourselves. That means giving ourselves a break when things don’t go right. That means changing our inner dialogues so that we can instead focus on what we learned from the mistakes that we made instead of yelling at ourselves. That means changing our outlook.

It also means giving ourselves a break.

At the end of the day, not everyone is perfect. Not everyone is going to be the top of the class, or adapt to something easily. And, that’s okay. It doesn’t meant that they aren’t good at it. It means that they are human.

Therefore, everyone — myself included — should take note.

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Living For Loving (Yourself)

It’s safe to say everyone out there at one point or another often lacks confidence. It can be the teenager who lacks self image due to bullies in the high school hallways. It can be the result of a diet of magazines and feeling like one is not enough. Or, finally, it could be the result of being in a relationship where your partner (or even someone who is supposedly your friend) would continually work to cut you down. And, while the relationship is long over, the effects of it still remain ingrained in us for God knows how long.

If I’m being real here, I can especially relate to the last one. I had experience with former friends and partners that just continually cut me down. For example, I have an ex that sometimes during a relationship tried to cause me to feel completely and utterly stupid. He would constantly dismiss my love for teen romance novels and say that my writing needed work (I mean I’m not perfect and can take criticism, but I do think it’s offensive for your partner to say that it’s a chore — and really he said that — to read your articles that you work so hard on).

And, that’s only one major example. I’ve had friends insult themselves in front of me, which in turn, helped me question my own self image and myself in general.

Needless to say, that caused me to feel subconscious about myself.  While the relationship is long over and I’m even in a new one, the effects still remain. Every now and then, I question whether or not I’m good enough or pretty enough.

But, I am working on it.

However, I’m going to be honest here. I am absolutely certain that I am not the only one who has or does feel this way. And, there’s a number of reasons why someone would be feeling that way.

With that being said, I do have a message for all of those who do. Repeat this mantra to yourself as much as needed, because I think that this something that everyone needs to hear.

And that mantra is:

You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are intelligent, and you are an awesome human being. Why? Because you are you. It doesn’t matter what size you wear, or if you’re the top of the class. You are worthy and deserving of love, and wonderful things. And, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

With the rise of social media — in our culture in general — we often lose sight of ourselves. This, meaning that we don’t see ourselves too clearly. I mean, we see thousands of stimuli daily, and it’s bound to create some insecurities about our lives. I am guilty of this. But, we don’t need to be.

Therefore, I am going to work on seeing myself as the wonderful being I am. But, sometimes, I need some help. So, here’s how I’m working to see myself clearly — even when I feel awful upon myself. Hopefully this inspires you to get going as well!

  1. Keep a journal and write in it regularly. You can do a few different prompts with this. One thing that I like to do when I’m feeling down about myself is write a list why I am awesome. Another thing is to write down your feelings. Chances are, the more you do, the better you’ll feel.
  2. Do something that makes you feel good. For me, that’s putting on some lipstick or remembering to wear makeup. Others, however, can have a different approach. For instance, some can wear an outfit that helps you radiate confidence. Whatever it may be, it’s okay to pamper yourself and remind yourself that you are awesome.
  3. Look up positive quotes on Pinterest/Google. After all, it means a lot to see it on your phone. And, you can even download them onto your phone and use it as a wallpaper. The more you see it, the more it resonates.

#Ilovemyself Is Trending On Twitter and It’s The Greatest Thing Ever

This morning, I logged into Twitter to see the hashtag #ilovemyself trending. And, I couldn’t help but get so excited over it. And seeing some of this tweets are amazing, you all. If you haven’t, be sure to search it on Twitter.

In my opinion, self love is something that is completely and utterly underrated. We simply don’t love ourselves enough.  On a daily basis, you hear people cut into themselves — and sometimes others — simply because they are insecure with themselves. Their insecurities could stem for a number of reasons — from someone not liking the way that they look to their weight. Whatever the reason is, there is certainly not enough self love going around, and I’m tired of it.

We need to learn how to love ourselves. We need to learn to fall head over heels in love with ourselves, because we should. Each and every one of us is a unique and awesome being. Each and every one of us is someone who shares joy and passion about something, whether it’s music, literature, movies or art. We are all beautiful.

And therefore, each and every person on Twitter should send a tweet to proclaim their love for themselves. They truly deserve it.

With that being said, I am going to share with you the reasons why #ilovemyself.

#Ilovemyself because I am a strong person who can see the light in any kind of darkness.

#Ilovemyself because I am not afraid to assert myself to get my message across and my needs met.

#Ilovemyself because I continue to advocate for change, and promote awareness for anxiety, as well as women’s rights and mental health awareness.

#Ilovemyself because I am a beautiful being, who continues to grow every single day.

And lastly, #Ilovemyself, because I learned that I am wonderful person who deserves to be loved. As the Smiths sing “I am human and I deserve to be loved, just like everyone else does.”

So do you.

Today, tweet about why you love yourself. Because you should shout from the world the reasons why you need to be loved.