Two Different Worlds?

Recently, I’ve accompanied my mom on a trip to our local nursery where she had been going for several years. She started talking to the owner, with whom she has grown to be friendly with (which comes with the territory when you’ve been going to the same place for several years now). The two discussed work, parents, and then went onto children. It was then my mother said something interesting.

Now, let me give you a little background information so I don’t leave you in the cold. They were talking about how one of the owner’s children went down to Florida for a bit. He was 25, and is looking for work.

Here’s what my mom said: “At 25, you and I were trying to get married. Now, at their age, that’s the furthest thing from their mind.”

I began to think about it. I am 23, and will turn 24 next month. While I am in a relationship, getting married is something that I’m not ready for at this moment. I still want to be established, and I want to pay my car off. And, most of the people I talk to are in the same boat. My friends are in their late 20s, and many of them don’t have engagement or wedding rings on their fingers.

Let’s take a look at the generation before us — our parents. My mom got married at 28, while my father was 23. Now, that’s not so much of an uncommon thing, but back then that was a much bigger deal.

With that being said, I have a friend who got married at 21. When I first heard that they wanted to get married, I started screaming at them. What about finishing college? What about getting a good job, a place to live, etc.?

It was then my friend reminded me about the meaning of love.

But, with that being said, what happens if someone wants to get married in their younger years? Now, it’s being seen more and more crazy to get married before you get a diploma. Why do people have to endure being criticized for that, when they are simply doing what’s best for them. That’s an entirely different conversation altogether.

However, I do think that while love is an important factor in relationships, more and more millennials are looking to be established. You know, have a steady job, savings, etc. Our generation — despite the weight of student loans — is the first with the majority to graduate with Bachelor’s and even Master’s degrees. My mom didn’t finish college, and I don’t know if my dad even went. That education opens far too many doors and opens up a significant amount of opportunity than ever before, such as studying abroad and internships.

Also, our generation is the first where both men and women have solid careers. In our parents’ generation, that wasn’t the case. One of the biggest changes, by far, is the opportunities for women opened up by feminism. Women were expected to maintain a caregiver role with the man provided. Now, both parents are providing — or dad is the one who chooses to stay home. 

It’s kind of interesting how things change in the span of 30 years, if you ask me. However, with that being said, while I still want to maintain a lively and successful career, I still also aspire to wear a white gown and have a family. But, just not right now.


What They Don’t Tell You About Post-Grad Life

A few months ago, I graduated from Southern Connecticut State University, proudly wearing my cap and gown complete with tassels and eagerly walked the stage to get my long awaited degree.

A few months later, I am in this thing called the real world.

Now, the real world is this funny little thing. It is completely different than anything I have ever experienced before in my life. For instance, last month I started a full time job at a trauma-based mental health clinic. I now have business cards, access to benefits, and a plaque. It seems like I shed my status of student quickly, as I am now an adult.

Whatever that is.

In the past month, I have met so many different people whose faces have molded into one, and am trying to stay afloat as I find my way in a company with about 200 employees.

Despite the fact I am no longer in a classroom, I still feel like I am learning. I am learning the concept of being an adult, which has become blurry to me. I am learning. I have learned the importance of checking your grammar, niched writing, and the importance of remembering who your audience is. From someone whose only had teachers and editors, this is a bit different than what I am used to.

But, I think it’s okay.

And while I learned how to write a great lead, learned the concepts of layout using InDesign, and managed to learn a thing or two about literature, it is safe to say that I did not learn how to adapt to this change. Instead, I got those skills from my therapist.

The thing about change and transition is this. Our bodies are overwhelmed by it, because like or not, we fall into a routine. I sometimes question whether or not it is me or the fact it is something that I have to get used to.

But, the good thing about change? Eventually, our bodies do in fact learn to adapt to it.

The key word here is eventually.

So, to all of the recent college graduates out there who are learning to make their way out in the world, please note one thing – I am there with you. To my peers graduating in the spring, I hope you know that it is okay to not know at 22 what you want to do with your life. I know I don’t, despite the fact that I have my job.

My advice to those who fall in that cohort, which is something that I should note for myself, is that you are going to be okay. Just be willing to learn and do the absolute best that you can to get there.



Hope For The Best, Prepare For The Worst

For the past year, all I have been talking about and thinking about is my graduation. In my phone, there is a countdown to the big day, which is now only about a month away. Now, I am looking at that day with a sense of dread, because for the first time, I am realizing that I have no idea what I am doing next.

Every day, I send out countless applications to jobs. When I graduate, I lose both of my jobs that I hold on campus. My biggest fear, especially as of late, is that when I walk the stage on December 16, that there will be no job waiting for me on the other side. I have experience. I have a decent GPA, making Dean’s List three times in the last few semesters.  I’ve worked hard, and I have over 1,000 clips to prove it. I know I sound like a whiny two year old, when I ask: what gives?

The thing about the future is that we do not know what it holds, therefore it produces anxiety. We worry about the worst, such as when we bring our car to the mechanic for an oil leak, and worry that it may be the end for the car. The question of what if this happens is something that continues to cloud my mind: what if I can not find a job? What if I can not pay my bills?

We have no control in the future, although we can do everything in our power to create a positive outcome, and that starts with a positive attitude. While it is good to be practical, it is also important to remember to be optimistic. It is like when the weatherman tells you during a hurricane-hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

And, at the end of the day, it is about all you can do to get to the future that you crave.

Why Vote

I’ve decided to take a break from my usual topics of mindfulness and mental health issues to talk about something that I view to be extremely important-voting. The election is less than three weeks away and unless you’ve been living under a rock, I don’t doubt you haven’t heard about both candidates and have formulated an opinion about them. With that being said, the election has also become a hot topic of discussion. Many classmates, coworkers, professors and friends have discussed the election to an extent, all proclaiming different opinions and perspectives on the topic.

Myself with an “I voted” sticker in April 2016.

With that being said, there is one comment in particular that irks me. And that is, I am not going to vote.

While some may say that either candidate may not be the most ideal fit for president, as many of the people I’ve talked to often classify it as being the “lesser of the two evils,” it is not an excuse to not vote.

As a journalist, I am trained to not show bias towards a certain candidate, and I don’t normally discuss politics unless it has reached an extreme point of absurdity. However, with that being said, I have voted in every election (with the exception of one) since I’ve turned 18. I think that voting is something that is a civic duty, something that each and every one of us should take seriously.

With that being said, as Americans, we are given the freedom to vote. It bothers me that some people don’t take full advantage of that right, and it further bothers me that some don’t vote and then complain about who is running the show. If you have a problem with a certain candidate, vote so that they don’t come into office. By having the right to vote, you have the right to go out there and make a small difference in the country and in the future.

The goal of my blog is to make a difference in the world. Part of doing that is to vote. And I encourage you all, whoever is reading this blog, to go out there and vote on Nov. 8 for someone, whether they may Democratic, Republican or Independent. I don’t care who you want to be in the oval office, all I care about is you do your civic duty by going out and voting.

How Do You Adult?

When I thought of myself at this age, I thought of myself as having it all together. I would be polished and refined, and have all of my ducks lined up in a row.

Now that I am this age, I can safely say that I’m not.

Being an adult means that you have to balance and often do the more responsible thing in life. This means making sure your bills are paid, ensuring that you work enough to support yourself, and making sure that you are responsible all of the time. Adults often have to budget, make sure that they have enough in the bank in case of a rainy day, because it’s up to them to be responsible for themselves. And not ask for anything from your parents.

I’m still trying to get this adult thing down. I’m trying to juggle school, multiple jobs and trying to not stay sane. However, I believe that I’m doing a great job. And, like all things, it’s a learning process. With that being said, I’m still learning. I think as long as I’m willing to learn, it will be okay. I’ll get it down eventually.

So, how do you adult? I’m still getting that part down, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t be trying to.