Mindfulness · positive thinking · self love

Learning to Be Nice To Yourself

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you just can’t get anything right? You know, when you’re struggling just to get something down pat, only to fail. And father than allow yourself the mistake, you beat yourself up for it?

You’re not alone, here. I do it too.

With that being said, how to we nip that habit right in the bud? How do we, instead of getting frustrated with ourselves so easily, learn to take a deep breath and say, it’s okay. I can do this. 

I say, with practice. Naturally, it’s easier said that done. But, I bet you can do it.

Okay, so how?

Let’s take when you’re new at something, for example. Often, you don’t pick something up right away. Do you remember when you first learned how to drive? Chances are, you didn’t do perfectly the first second you got behind the wheel. However, over time, you’ve managed to not only brake easily, but also feel comfortable driving around other cars. Therefore, we have to learn that since we’re new at something, we need to give ourselves a chance to get used to everything — whether it may be a new job or even a semester.

Patience, people.

Furthermore, we also need to work on learning to be nice to ourselves. That means giving ourselves a break when things don’t go right. That means changing our inner dialogues so that we can instead focus on what we learned from the mistakes that we made instead of yelling at ourselves. That means changing our outlook.

It also means giving ourselves a break.

At the end of the day, not everyone is perfect. Not everyone is going to be the top of the class, or adapt to something easily. And, that’s okay. It doesn’t meant that they aren’t good at it. It means that they are human.

Therefore, everyone — myself included — should take note.

Book Reviews

Book Review: Save The Date by Morgan Matson

Your wedding day is the one day where everything is supposed to go right. At least, you hope so.

However, that’s not the case with Charlie’s sister’s wedding in Morgan Matson’s Save the Date. Between a fallen wedding cake, a faulty alarm, and a wedding planner that hits the road the day before, it seems like the day can’t go right. With that being said, Charlie is excited because she gets a chance to hang out with all five of her siblings altogether — even estranged sibling Mike.

My copy of Save the Date — it’s a signed edition! 

But the wedding isn’t the only craziness that is happening in Charlie’s life. In addition to preparing for her sister’s wedding, she’s getting ready for college and figuring out where she is going to go next year. Her parents are selling their childhood home, and the comic strip that her mother had worked on for the past 25 years is now drawing to a close as well.

With that being said, this novel isn’t about a wedding or a happy family. I mean it is, but it’s so much more than that. It is also a coming of age, watching a woman grow up kind of story. I mean, throughout the novel you watch Charlie mature, whether it may be coming to the light with her childhood crush, or seeing her siblings with their faults — not as superheroes.

Overall, I thought that this was a great book. Usually, whenever I read a book where everything seems to go wrong, I begin to get frustrated. This was not the case. Tucked between the mini disasters were those heartfelt family moments that only come with the wedding territory. For instance, the Grants played capture the flag the night before Linnie’s wedding.

In addition, I enjoyed how the different story lines flowed. There’s a lot going on in this novel. You have the wedding, you have Charlie figuring out where she stands with Jesse and where to go to college, and the house being sold. But, there’s so much more than that. For instance, you have the end of Charlie’s mom’s comic, Grant Central Station. You see an unexpected romance form. And, you see one end.

What was also cool — and something that Matson always does in her books — was that you get to see a character in a previous novel. This time, you see Andie Walker from the Unexpected Everything. In addition, you see her father, who is now the governor, make a few appearances. I always love it when authors do that — it’s kind of neat to see how your favorite characters in your novels are, without reading another book about them.

However, while I enjoyed the book, I still wondered if it was realistic. Having never really been in a wedding or have gotten married, I wouldn’t have experienced the trials of planning a wedding. But, for all of you who have, let me ask you this — it is realistic for everything to go wrong on your wedding day?

Other than that, it was definitely one of my favorite reads of the year. Furthermore, if you’re a fan of Sarah Dessen, Jenny Han, or Jennifer Smith, than Save the Date should also be on your summer reading list.

Millennial Issues · Woman's Issues

Two Different Worlds?

Recently, I’ve accompanied my mom on a trip to our local nursery where she had been going for several years. She started talking to the owner, with whom she has grown to be friendly with (which comes with the territory when you’ve been going to the same place for several years now). The two discussed work, parents, and then went onto children. It was then my mother said something interesting.

Now, let me give you a little background information so I don’t leave you in the cold. They were talking about how one of the owner’s children went down to Florida for a bit. He was 25, and is looking for work.

Here’s what my mom said: “At 25, you and I were trying to get married. Now, at their age, that’s the furthest thing from their mind.”

I began to think about it. I am 23, and will turn 24 next month. While I am in a relationship, getting married is something that I’m not ready for at this moment. I still want to be established, and I want to pay my car off. And, most of the people I talk to are in the same boat. My friends are in their late 20s, and many of them don’t have engagement or wedding rings on their fingers.

Let’s take a look at the generation before us — our parents. My mom got married at 28, while my father was 23. Now, that’s not so much of an uncommon thing, but back then that was a much bigger deal.

With that being said, I have a friend who got married at 21. When I first heard that they wanted to get married, I started screaming at them. What about finishing college? What about getting a good job, a place to live, etc.?

It was then my friend reminded me about the meaning of love.

But, with that being said, what happens if someone wants to get married in their younger years? Now, it’s being seen more and more crazy to get married before you get a diploma. Why do people have to endure being criticized for that, when they are simply doing what’s best for them. That’s an entirely different conversation altogether.

However, I do think that while love is an important factor in relationships, more and more millennials are looking to be established. You know, have a steady job, savings, etc. Our generation — despite the weight of student loans — is the first with the majority to graduate with Bachelor’s and even Master’s degrees. My mom didn’t finish college, and I don’t know if my dad even went. That education opens far too many doors and opens up a significant amount of opportunity than ever before, such as studying abroad and internships.

Also, our generation is the first where both men and women have solid careers. In our parents’ generation, that wasn’t the case. One of the biggest changes, by far, is the opportunities for women opened up by feminism. Women were expected to maintain a caregiver role with the man provided. Now, both parents are providing — or dad is the one who chooses to stay home. 

It’s kind of interesting how things change in the span of 30 years, if you ask me. However, with that being said, while I still want to maintain a lively and successful career, I still also aspire to wear a white gown and have a family. But, just not right now.

Book Reviews · Uncategorized

Book Review: Love and Luck by Jenna Evans Welch

I don’t know about you, but I have a list a mile long of places that I want to travel to. One of them, Italy, was the setting of Jenna Evans Welch’s debut novel, Love & Gelato. Another place is Ireland, which is the setting of her latest novel, Love & Luck.

Love & Luck in some ways is like a sequel to Love & Gelato. The protagonist, Addie, is Lina’s best friend, who was the protagonist of Love & Gelato. But, don’t be fooled. It’s not a sequel to Love & Gelato by any means.

The novel begins at Addie’s aunt’s destination wedding, which is in Ireland. At the wedding, Addie and her brother Ian have an argument that gets resolved by Addie pushing her brother down a hill. However, before the reception, Addie’s mother gives them a challenge — to behave without incident while the two visit Addie’s best friend Lina while she’s in Italy or she’s revoking all their privileges to play sports. Since both of them are athletes, this is the ultimate punishment.

However, here’s the thing — Addie and Ian are usually the closer of the sibling group. But, after Addie dates football bad boy Cubby — which had an unfortunate ending — the two are drifting apart. This leads Addie to pick up the book Ireland and the Heartbroken, which isn’t your typical guidebook.

Right before Addie is destined to leave for Italy, she discovers Ian to be missing along with his suitcase. She finds him on his way to the ultimate music festival, where his favorite band will be giving one last performance. Addie follows him, which leads her down a rabbit hole of the unexpected as she heals her broken heart. Along with her brother’s friend, she begins to complete the heartbreak homework to ultimately heal the broken heart that she arrived with.

This is easily one of the best books that I’ve read this year. Furthermore, this book is the perfect read for summer. You can easily get lost in it, just as Addie gets lost in the Irish hills. The book is one of those books you can easily finish in a few days, but it’s one of those books that can become your favorite.

What’s unique about the book is that each chapter is sandwiched with an excerpt from Ireland and the Heartbroken. Now, you may be wondering whether or not this may take away or add to the novel. Personally, I liked it. It served as a preview for the upcoming destination. Furthermore, I also think that it also helped with the tone of the book. It helped Addie come to terms with what’s going on with her life at home.

I also liked that this book didn’t reveal all at once. It added to the intrigue of what happened to Addie to lead her to that point. At the beginning of the book, Addie and her brother are arguing. By the end, their relationship is restored.

The one thing that I didn’t like about the book though was the ending. I personally felt that it was a little rushed. I would have liked to see everything go full circle just a bit more. Maybe show more about Addie and Ian as they go back to school, and face the music.

But, with that being said, if you’re a fan of young adult literature, travel or even both, I highly recommend you reading Love and Luck.