It’s Not THAT Bad To Be Single

“Why are you still single?”

Oh, how I hate that question.

It goes along with being told “one day you’ll find someone.”

I have to bite my tongue

to avoid saying “shut the hell up.”

I’m glad to know your only accomplishment in life

is just being in a relationship.

That’s great,

but I have better things to do with my time

like meeting the band Kansas,

or working at the copy desk at the Hamden Journal.

 

It’s not that I am choosing to be single.

It’s just how it happened.

Sure, I can download Tinder.

Or, I can go on OKCupid.

But how do I know that the guy is actually worthy?

You don’t get that much information before you swipe.

Or, better yet, how do I know he’s not going to kill me?

I’m not suspicious,

but my best friend is always on the app,

and she manages to find people that look

like they are a sex offender

or belong in a prison line up.

Since online dating isn’t my thing,

one may suggest going out to meet new people.

Bars involve wearing clothes that are a bit too tight

and even then, you don’t know what they are thinking.

They may like you,

or they may want you to be their next one night stand.

Or, they just might want you to go away.

After a long day, a bar’s the last place that I want to be.

I wish I can find my future husband watching Netflix.

I don’t plan on being the crazy cat lady,

or the woman that’s obsessed with the career.

Maybe it’s fear that’s keeping me from talking to the cute guy in class,

because he may not actually have a crush on me

or he may just be gay.

Well, that might be awkward if I asked him out,

like that time when I asked Gabriel for his phone number,

later learning that he was in fact gay.

Why can’t he just ask me?

Romantic comedies lie.

But you see,

relationships are all just a game.

The winners are those couples,

you know the ones who constantly post selfies on social media,

or have someone to cuddle with on a Saturday night.

But, my day will come,

where I’ll meet someone to post selfies with to annoy everyone

and I’ll have someone to cuddle with who doesn’t have four legs

and floppy ears.

There Is A Time

I truly believe that there is a time for everything.

There is a time to radiate in the rays of love’s happiness,

and enjoy the fortune of finding someone.

There is a time to mourn love’s departure,

teardrops staining your cheeks as you say a final goodbye.

There is a time for hellos,

just as there is a time for goodbyes.

 

I discovered that life is nothing but a balance —

a perfect mixture of ying and yang.

Dark is equal to light,

just as good balances the bad.

No matter what, it always evens out.

Almost, always.

 

Maybe this is why everything happens for a reason —

you know some unknown one that I don’t understand.

And, perhaps, I never will.

So, this is why I no longer fight it.

This is why I enjoy the ride.

This is why I no longer feel despair when things go wrong.

That thought comforts me, and guides me through.

 

So, maybe I don’t understand that reason as things happen,

but it serves as a guide to navigate through life’s choppy waters.

And, that somehow is enough.

The Right Relationship Goals To Have

If you are on social media, I am sure that you are familiar with the hashtag, #RelationshipGoals. If you are not, let me fill you in: relationship goals are usually tweets or pictures — usually unrealistic — of a couple behaving in a certain way. For example, they usually consist of a guy showering a girl in some materialistic way.

Recently, I saw a tweet on Twitter about one girl’s relationship goals. They consist of: flowers and money for the girl to get a pedicure. Even though I wouldn’t necessarily condemn that, a part of me thought it was kind of nice. Don’t get me wrong — it’s easy to get your own pedicure. However, having a guy that showers you in that sort of way is completely heartwarming — and should go both ways.

But should those be relationship goals?

Maybe.

I think that having a relationship where your partner does things — from time to time — that make you smile is awesome. These are little things — like surprising them with their favorite food on a night that they are stressed out, buying flowers to celebrate an accomplishment (or just because), or writing a note to them. These little things are so important in a relationship, at least in my opinion.

But, should that be the only relationship goal that we have?

Absolutely not.

I think that the relationship goals that we have individually should differ from person to person. It should consist of the following: what you need in a relationship, qualities that your partner has, how you wish to be treated by your partner, and so on.

Those goals are so much more important than being surprised with a teddy bear. Having these goals in place when you’re dating is important so you can know what you want — and not settle for anything less.

And, let’s be honest. Dating is rough. By knowing what you want makes things a million times easier.

 

6 Simple Ideas to Help Deal With Anxiety

For the past few years, I’ve been struggling with the effects of anxiety as they fluctuate up and down. However, it’s safe to say that anxiety will always and forever remain to be a part of me.

Over the years, the way I have dealt with anxiety has changed tremendously. When I first began experiencing panic attacks, the only way I could deal with them was to hysterically cry in the corner. Try doing that in the middle of a college campus. With that being said, I developed (thanks to my therapist) a list of methods to help cope with anxiety so I don’t have extreme panic attacks.

Are you experiencing anxiety? Here’s some things I do to manage it for you to try. Disclaimer: just because they worked for me doesn’t mean that they are something that could help you. Everyone with anxiety deals with it differently, these methods just help with mine. 

  1. Write in a journal.

I’ve been writing for as long as I could remember. It kind of makes sense whenever I am feeling down that I resort to journal writing (or poetry) whenever anxiety strikes. Typically, I write every single emotion that I’m feeling. Once it’s on paper, I feel better. Usually.

2. Talk to friends.

Over the past two years, I’ve had friends (or significant others) who I would turn to whenever I was feeling upset and need someone to cry to. I am so grateful to have a cast of characters in my life to hug me when I’m feeling upset or anxious to remind me that everything is going to be okay. Usually after talking to someone I trust, I almost always feel better.

3. Drink a lot of water — and less caffeine.

Let’s be honest, I love my Starbucks. And, my Panera. And, my Dunkin. What can I say? I’m a coffee drinker? However, I notice that when I drink coffee I tend to feel more anxious. So, I’ve been cutting back on the coffee, and drinking more water. It’s definitely helpful.

One of the things that my therapist actually told me to do is to drink more water whenever I’m feeling anxious. That is something that I’ve been doing lately, and it helps a lot. Plus, staying hydrated has some great health benefits as well.

4. Get a spinner . . . something.

I have a spinner ring, and I wear it on days when I know my anxiety is going to be higher. Having that ring is super helpful because it takes my mind off of whatever is causing me anxiety — and it’s really fun to play with.

Over the summer, one of the fads was to have a spinner toy. Those are extremely fun to play with when you’re anxious because it draws your attention away from what’s bothering you, and you’re doing something fun! 10/10 would recommend.

5. Be positive.

Have a Mantra that you repeat to yourself whenever you’re having a panic attack. You know something positive that reminds you that everything is going to be ok.

Looking for inspiration? Some ideas include:

  • Just Breathe.
  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • Everything will work itself out.

6. Have a distraction.

This is when puppy videos come in handy. Cute things always invoke a smile on my face. This is why I follow so many Snoopy and puppy accounts on Instagram.

Basically, if something makes you smile, it’s definitely worth having around — and indulging in having more of it in your life!

Remembering 9/11

14238093_10210642848375771_7967181977939985816_n
New York, April 2016

I was only seven years old when the planes crashed into the Twin Towers 16 years ago. At seven, I didn’t comprehend what exactly happened. I remember it being a typical school day. I remember my grandparents were on their way to some bus trip, leaving the job of picking me up to a neighbor. I remember that it was my Uncle Joe’s birthday.

However, I knew something was wrong when my mom was there to pick me up that day. I remember asking her why? And, then she had told me what happened that day — two planes had hit the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. I remember going home and she never left the television set.

At seven, I didn’t know how horrific the events of the attacks were. At 23, after watching the footage and hearing the stories of those who lost loved ones in those attack, I definitely do.

9/11 was without a doubt a tragedy. It brings tears to my eyes when I hear the stories of people who lost loved ones: parents, spouses, children. 9/11 will forever be cemented in our lives as something that changed our country forever, and this is why it should be never forgotten.

Today, I remember that day, and how oblivious I was to what had occurred. Today, I honor those who risked their lives just to save others — the New York City Fire Department, civilians, etc. Today, I pay tribute to my country, and proclaim that I am proud to an American.

Even though I didn’t comprehend it much at the time, I vow to #neverforget 9/11. I vow to #neverforget the tragedy, the loss, and the families who lost a loved one.  I vow #neverforget the bravery the NY fire and police department.

#neverforget 9/11.