Ever since I got a Tinder, OK Cupid and a Bumble a few months ago, I have met a smorgasbord of eligible guys, aged 20-26 who are looking for Mrs. Right, or in some cases, Mrs. Right Now. So far, I have met two guys offline, dating one of them for an extended period of time, and am aspiring to meet more of them as time goes on.
As a continue to use these apps to find a partner, I am beginning to notice the many pressures that come with dating. There is a certain expectation that at a certain point, you are going to date that person. There is the expectation that you are going into a relationship, knowing exactly what you want.
My question is why?
I understand that part of dating is to find a potential mate for life. However, what I do in fact hate is how much pressure comes with dating. You have to look a certain way, and try to come off as pleasing for your partner. It is almost like a job interview, which is not in the least bit fun, because you are interviewing to find a partner of some sort. You go into a date with one end result in mind-to find a partner. Not to have a good time, and to focus on getting to know the person. And, I think that is crazy.
I think the point of dating is to have lots of fun and meeting people that you may or may not be compatible with . And, that is what I want to have whenever I go out with someone right now. I want to get to know someone, without the pressure of needing to define the relationship. I want to do fun things with them, like go out on coffee dates or hockey games, without worrying about the future.
I think we need to stop thinking about tomorrow, and putting too much pressure on something to work out. The more that you do, the less you are focused on getting to know that person. I think we as a society are focused more on coupling up, and less on the quality of the person that you are coupling up with. And, that is okay. But, racing to get to that point, just because you are anxious to avoid spending time alone? That is not okay.
Let us slow down, and focus more on the ride, and less on the race to the aisle. Breathe. The less you focus on getting a boyfriend, the higher the chances will be that you will get one. So, on your next date, have fun and leave the pressures at home.