For over two months, I had a boyfriend. For privacy purposes, we’ll name him Mike. During those two months, I neglected to update my relationship status on Facebook, nor did I share a single selfie of the two of us on Instagram (which is unlike me, because I’m constantly sharing content on the app).
The reason why I chose to keep my relationship private was simple: I just wanted something real, without the constant interruption of technology. Often times, when I hung out with my friends, one thing that we would always do is post a selfie to Instagram or Facebook. After all, if it wasn’t on social media, did it really happen? Therefore, when it came to my relationship, I felt like it was better for me to keep it offline (this also had to do with not wanting to broadcast it to several members of my family who I haven’t spoken to or seen for a while). It had nothing to do with my boyfriend or how I felt about him, it’s just I wanted the privacy of growing together away from the digital spotlight.
I feel like with the constant use of social media, we lose that sense of privacy. It is as if we have out own personal set of paparazzi following us around every time we go somewhere. Only, unlike celebrities, we are actually asking for this attention.
According to an article from Science Alert, people who over share about their partner are likely to have low self esteem. And to some degree, I agree with that, because of it correlates with some of the friends I encounter with on my timeline.
Adding onto that, I’ve heard some conflicting statements about relationships and social media from friends and family. Some people say that by not updating your Facebook relationship status, you are in a sense trying to hide the relationship from family and friends, and are ashamed of the other person. Others say that by posting too much, you’re basically trying to put on a show, or trying to put on a false front for others to see. After all, no one can see past the screen, right?
With that being said, I would like to also like to add that with social media, it’s something that I think that you should do on your own terms, not on what other people think should be done. I have quite a few friends who are in relationships, however, I don’t see them post about it every single day. Despite the fact they don’t constantly update their status 24/7 about it, those same friends still have an “in a relationship status” on Facebook, as well as a picture of them with their significant other as their default. I have other friends that are also in love that did not change their Facebook status whatsoever, but they have each other in their profile pictures. Both of these couples are couples who are in it for the long haul, and it works for them.
Therefore, when it comes to relationships and social media, it’s up to you on how much (or little) you post. And while I don’t know when I will be in a relationship next, I know that I would probably like to not keep so hidden as I did the last time. But, with that being said, I know I would not be constantly updating every one of my 1,471 Facebook friends on every little date or adventure I go on with whoever the lucky guy may be.