Don’t Knock It Til You Try It! Positive Thinking Really Works!

One of the biggest cliches out there is to stay positive whenever you’re having a bad day, and somehow things will get better. I always questioned that mentality. I mean, how could you maintain a positive attitude at all times? After all, there are some days that it can be difficult.

For example, yesterday I was having an awful day. I woke up and was feeling awful — I had a terrible stomach ache and had a headache. Despite my illness, I decided to go into work, and try my best at the tasks I was assigned to do.

It was a struggle, I will admit. However, deciding to just say hello to people and smile changed my entire outlook. I went out of my way to help others, whether it was holding doors for them or greeting strangers in a coffee shop. I kept on reminding myself that “while I feel like crap now, I will get through it and go home to rest.” And, I decided to treat myself to a nice lunch.

Those little things made a huge difference. While it didn’t change how I was feeling physically, it changed how I approached things. I think that’s crucial, because instead of dwelling on how I was feeling, I was focusing on doing something for the greater good and trying to feel good. It worked, because while I was still feeling awful, I attacked my day with a positive mindset. 

So, at the end of the day, we have those two options: to complain or try to be positive. For me, this seems to be the one that works much better. But, that’s just my opinion.

With that being said, it has become a pet peeve of mine when someone complains or continues to dwell on the negative. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not going to get much accomplished or even feel good if you continue to do so. Furthermore, if you’re not doing whatever your best to try to get to change that situation, chances are you’re going to continue to be in it.

So, with that being said, I invite you to look at things with a positive outlook like I did yesterday. And, while things might not be ideal right this second, give yourself the right tools to help you power through it. Chances are, you’ll have a sunnier outcome. 

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Whose Right and Whose Wrong?

Have you ever heard someone said that in a relationship, the woman always wins because she is always right — no matter what? I’ve been hearing that an awful lot lately, and to be honest, I don’t agree with that.

Why?

Because I’m a woman. And, I’ve been wrong on more than one occasion. And, to have a relationship where a partner feels like they have to give into their partner because they should be right isn’t the way a relationship should be. There are going to be instances where both parties are going to be wrong. That is perfectly okay.

Back in high school, I had this friend whose boyfriend was whipped — for lack of better word. He constantly had to agree with her, or else she would get mad. And, he had to check in with her whenever he wanted to do something.

Can I be honest? That’s not a healthy relationship if you have to submit to your girlfriend. Just saying. Your boyfriend is not a dog. He shouldn’t have to obey your every command. 

Going off of that, in relationships it’s really not about who is right or who is wrong — for me, anyways. It’s not about winning an argument. Instead, I think it’s about trying to understand the other person, and getting a better grasp on how to understand them.

You know that couple I mentioned earlier? Well, they would argue until the guy would give up and say you’re right honey. Then it would be all good with them.

Let’s face it — there is no such thing as a perfect relationship without argument. Every healthy relationship has them. But, the thing is, you’ve got to know how to argue productively.

But, wait. How do you argue productively?

Arguing productively means that instead of trying to be the person that is right, learning to understand your partner a little better. That means listening to them, and how they are feeling. That means using statements that begin with ‘I feel’ rather than accusatory ones. And, instead of it being a competition, the goal should be to come out of the argument a stronger couple.

Personally, that goal is a whole lot healthier than constantly having to say you’re right, honey all of the time. But, that’s just my opinion.

Can we just aspire to have healthy relationships and be merry?

The Story of a Relationship

 

Begin.

It was an early crisp fall day.

Some say that January 1st is the day of new beginnings.

I think that the new school year is a time of tabula rasa.

You sat right next to me.

One day, you said hi.

I wondered if you were always sitting there.

Or, were you something that I noticed now that the surroundings have become familiar?

I didn’t know that by a simple breath, a simple hello.

That I didn’t want to ever say good-bye to you.

 

Will you ask me?

Will you ask me to be your girlfriend?

Will you ask me to the movies, where who knows what happens in the dark?

Will you do more than gaze at me and never let your feelings known?

What are we?

Are we more than friends?

You smell awfully nice for me to be just a friend.

You paid for my ticket.

What the hell is going to happen next?

 

The day after December.

I went to your house.

My friend drove me.

Your friend liked her.

For the first time, I thought that maybe this could be something.

I wondered what was going to happen next as you hugged me goodbye.

And comforted me later, as I cried.

You were something.

 

You suddenly began slipping away.

It was gradual.

I started to notice.

I wondered if it was because of me.

Or was it because of the ghost that haunts your closet.

The demons were too strong for me to compete.

So I took a step back.

Noticed how much you truly were eclipsed with a sea of darkness.

I wanted to be your superhero.

I wished I could take it all away.

However, the battle was meant for you to fight.

I didn’t know when to run.

All of the signals were there.

Yet, I was too stupid to ignore them.

It took one sentence to change my mind about you.

Someone who I thought was good and pure.

Someone who I thought would always have something nice to say.

 

I didn’t want to think about you.

It hurt that I choose someone who wasn’t you.

It felt like I wasn’t good enough for someone perfect.

I wondered would I ever find that complete perfection?
Or would it be something that I would look at through a glass?

I didn’t know if I ever would achieve that.

 

I avoided you.

I avoided thinking about you.

If I saw you, I would run away.

That got old.

So, one day I approached you.

I faced my fear head on.

 

I then wondered what I saw in you.

I look back and feel like that was a lifetime ago.

I managed to come back from you, forever realizing that you are vanilla.

Yes you were perfect.
But your perfection was a result of striving to be perfect.

I will no longer be haunted by your memory.

And, I am now over the blue eyes I once thought were attractive.

Our story is over.

But my own is still happening.

What’s Wrong With Taking a Bubble Bath?

Recently, I read quite a few articles about self care being more than just bubble baths. While I agree with that, I must bring up one important question — what’s wrong with taking baths to help you get to self care?

My answer? Absolutely nothing.

But, let me say this: it is definitely more than a bubble bath.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I can incorporate self care in my daily routine. Self care is the psychological equivalent to taking your vitamins and drinking water. If you don’t do it, chances are that you’ll end up an awful human being. Well, not awful, but someone who is stressed out and depressed.

Furthermore, let me also add this — self care is the thing that we use to keep us healthy in a holistic sense. It’s about going to your therapist if you need to see one. It’s about learning to set boundaries, making time to work out, and choosing a salad every once in a while.

Self care is something that differs from person to person. For me, self care consists of curling up with a good book in the morning to enjoy with my coffee. For me, self care is getting a discounted bath bomb from Marshalls and relaxing for ten minutes. For me, self care is writing my blog posts and writing my stories. It is about taking a breather from my daily responsibilities for two minutes and taking a moment for myself, and not feeling bad about doing so.

I think we need to learn how to take that breather. But, we also need to learn how to get to a point where we are truly taking care of ourselves and trying to make sure that we are taking those crucial steps to get there.

And for some, that might very well mean a bubble bath with a candle.

I’m relaxing just typing those words.

So, the moral of the story?

Don’t discount the bubble baths as a method of self care.

Top 13 Of My Favorite Song Lyrics

Song lyrics are their own breed of poetry. While most of the music in today’s music (at least in my opinion), is geared towards radio plays, there’s something about a song that holds poetic and is beautiful meaning. Lyrics often have the power to inspire you to get through what’s bothering you, or to relate to whatever is bothering you.

Over the years, there are many lyrics that have continued to touch me or really capture me. So, I’ve decided to compile them in this list.

  1. I won’t break/I won’t bend/But someday soon we’ll sail away/to innocence/and the bitter end — Simple Life — Elton John
  2. If our love is a circus, then you’d be a clown by now — I’m Still Standing — Elton John
  3. You got to lose to know how to win — Dream On — Aerosmith
  4. I never thought I’d lose/I only thought I’d win/I never dreamed I’d win/I never dreamed I’d feel/this fire beneath my skin/I can’t believe you love me/I never thought you’d come/I guess I misjudged love/between a father and his son — The Last Song — Elton John
  5. You write such pretty words/but life’s no storybook — Lover I Don’t Have To Love — Bright Eyes
  6. I am human and I need to be loved just like everyone else does — How Soon Is Now? — The Smiths
  7. It’s always darkest before dawn — Shake It Out — Florence and the Machine
  8. I can get by without a man’s wealth/I could do bad my damn self — Il Na Na — Foxy Brown
  9. I’ve poured out the pleasure/dealt with the pain/standing in a station/waiting in the rain/I’m starting to feel a little muscle/love is lost like a runaway train — Runaway Train — Elton John
  10. I’d believe in anything were it not for you/showing me by just existing this is true/I love you, I love you/without question/that’s true — Without Question — Elton John
  11. I believe in love/love is all we got/love has no borders/no boundaries to cross — Believe — Elton John
  12. And suddenly I’m flying/flying like a bird/like electricity, electricity/sparks fly inside of me/and I’m free, I’m free — Electricity — Elton John
  13. You tell me it gets better, it gets better with time/you tell me put myself together/pull it together/you’ll be fine/tell me what the hell do you know/what do you know/how could you know — Til It Happens To You — Lady GaGa

Saying Hello to 2018

Today is the last day of 2017. Tonight, we will throw glitter into the air and celebrate a new beginning, a new book that will have 365 pages. We will kiss loved ones at midnight, drink champagne, and be merry. Out with 2017, in with 2018. 

Across the world, many are pledging to do something to improve their lives in 2018. Typically, this means that you’re going to read more books, lose a few pounds, or to drink more water. And, those are pretty good resolutions. If you’re one of those people that are planning to do that, I wish you nothing but the best.

As I look back in 2017, I realize a lot has happened. I walked away from my first job that wasn’t working out. I then got the opportunity to work for a radio station and meet so many people. This lead to so many opportunities — including meeting Jack Antonoff from Bleachers. I welcomed love into my heart, said hello and goodbye to many friends, and am learning the importance of taking care of myself.

Therefore, as I head into 2018, I am making one resolution — to continue down a path to help me become the best me I can. I think that’s doable, don’t you?

There are many ways I can do this.

First, I can write more. What many people don’t realize is that writing continues to serve as a therapist’s chair as well as my meal ticket. While I don’t blog as often as I used to, I continue to pen articles for websites such as CT Boom and Americanoize. I also write privately in my journals. I’ve been keeping journals for five and a half years, and writing in them always makes me feel better about anything. Therefore, heading into 2018, I want to make journaling a habit.

Secondly, I can learn to be less hard on myself. I’ve heard somewhere that we are our worst critics, and I believe that is true. At the end of the day, you can only do your best and give 100 percent into everything that you can do. Therefore, why should we be hard on ourselves when that’s what we are giving? Honestly, I have no idea.

And finally, the best thing that I can do is to allow love in. Love is a strange emotion, guys. It brings insecurity and fear. But, it also brings a lot of joy and happiness. We often forget it — and focus on the negative. Therefore, as I head in 2018, I want to bask into love’s rays of happiness. I want to be able to say that I’ve loved — and not worried about the silly things. Easier said than done, but that’s something I want to work on.

At the end of the day, we are not complete beings. We are works in progress that continue to evolve into a stronger being. It takes time, but the process continues to be a mixture of beauty and progression. We should to appreciate the view, and slow down. We will get to that place where we want to be — eventually. 

And so, with that being said, happy new year, everyone.

Looking Past The Diamonds

If you know me well, you know that I absolutely love jewelry. I always have a ton of jewelry on, and I’m always buying something new to add to my collection. With that being said, I follow a lot of jewelry accounts on Twitter, because I’m going to be honest — I just really like shiny things.

A few days ago, I was scrolling through Twitter and saw the picture below. Basically, it was someone who posted a picture of a huge engagement ring, and the caption was ‘I can’t wait for this’ with the heart emoji.

ring

I don’t know why, but that made me angry.

To be honest, I think that if someone is looking for her boyfriend to give her something — whether it’s a huge rock or even a huge thing of flowers — then they are dating or even marrying for the wrong reasons. When you’re dating someone, you’re dating because they love you. You are dating them because they are making you laugh. You are not dating someone because they can provide you with a huge diamond ring. You are not dating someone because they can buy you things.

If you are, then you are dating with the wrong intentions and the wrong reasons. You are looking for a bank account — not a boyfriend. If that’s what you’re looking for, then hey, more power to you. 

But, for me, if it were the right person, then the ring that they gave me really wouldn’t have mattered (just as long as I can wear it — I am actually allergic to nickel!). It’s sad that I feel like we look past that into what someone can give us to wear. And, while rings are pretty, nothing is quite as sparkly as one’s smile from being happy.

At the end of the day, though, love has no cost. Love shouldn’t be based on a dollar sign, or how much someone has in the bank. It should be based on their personality and the way that you make you feel. It bothers me to no end that there are still women out there that see it, because they are buying into the consumerism that has plagued the millennial culture.

After all, we’ve seen so many millennials post pictures and tweets about their ‘goals.’ I’ve noticed many of them are about having a significant other that just brings them things.

Now before you describe me as pessimistic, please hear me out. I am all about giving your significant other things — especially if you’re coming from a place where you’re just trying to make them smile. However, it shouldn’t be a thing where we’ve come to expect it from them — or that we have to have a certain thing that’s expensive.

Are we just a material world now?